You are loved. You are valuable. You are needed as a part of the family. Without you, the family is never whole and its call will never be fully filled.
We live in a community of opinion that projects intangible relationships with a value greater than family. Likes and shares have diminished the need for a human experience. The need for family to be joined in fellowship has never been greater. Online experiences creates a false since of security.
The ability to reach out to “friends” 24/7, is not the definition of a relationship. Relationships are built over time with ebbs and flows that can be quite uncomfortable. Without questioning, there is turmoil that exists in families; not everyone gets along all the time and sometimes, they never get along. But, just as a husband and wife betroth to become one, the family as an overall unit has to be willing to be shaped and formed into a oneness that supersedes conflict. A larger quesiton emerges, what are we, as a family called to do? What will be our legacy?
Healthy families create healthy communities. Family values become community values. Values are simply what the family agrees to as important. Traditional family values include love, respect, protect, honor, perspective, neighbors and neighborhood, and fidelity to God. Today, values resemble more metaverse- web 3.0 social media mantras and allegiance to online friends most of which, they’ve never seen beyond, polling or influencing.The casual nature by which we have transferred “honor” is troubling. The message sent is you can do life without family.
The complexities of living today, demands more from family now, than ever in history. Family constitutes generations. It is within the context of the experience and knowledge of the “generations”, you are loved and can find “safety”. Being dismissive of family is a mistake. No matter how challenging and strained relationships are; mediating and settling differences is worth the investment of effort.
Every member of the family is connected to another member. To settle differences is to deny the disagreement to fester and spread through relationships that are still viable. Honoring one member of the family honors all members. The difference is, the need to try and work through the issues to reconciliation does not guarantee the relationship will be repaired beyond civility.
There is no naïveté being presented here. There will be families and members of families who will not get along. It is however, the beauty of the construct of family, to always have a way back into the relationship because DNA creates the bond that can never be broken. It’s not enough to dismiss the relationship. Kids are watching. Generations are witnessing. And, you are modeling for them their future response to family when there is not agreement. They must witness love in action if for no other reason, they are family and family is a construct of God
But, no one has to do life alone. The choice to do life alone is dangerous. You are not alone. You are loved; if not by the family member you are struggling with, there are countless others. Your decision to seek reconciliation, speaks volumes to the family. Your love for the family will manifest itself in ways that you can never imagine.